By Jenny Mitchell, ACC, DMA
Alfred Adler was the “other psychologist” of the 20th century, a former colleague of Freud and Jung. Adler’s research centred on the social aspects of human beings. He famously said, “All problems are interpersonal relationship problems.”
Adler’s model maps well to the not-for-profit world. He believed that humans are fundamentally social beings, motivated by a deep need for belonging and significance. The central concept of his theory is social interest: the innate desire of humans to connect, cooperate, and contribute to the well-being of others. In today’s hybrid workspace, where leaders are tasked with building trust through a computer screen, the precious few face-to-face connection points become more important than ever. This article will explore how Adlerian principles can help today’s philanthropic leaders achieve systemic, sustainable impact.
“All problems are interpersonal problems”
Most of the difficulties people experience in life are rooted in their relationships with other people—how they relate, communicate, and perceive themselves within groups and society.
Effective organizational leadership begins with self-leadership. This practice begins with cultivating an acute awareness of one’s own motivations, unconscious biases, and habitual assumptions, and recognizing how these internal drivers shape interactions and decision-making. Leaders must create space to slow down, and critically examine their emotional responses and behaviours toward colleagues and stakeholders. This process might lead you to internal exploration, like these examples:
- I am reluctant to trust this person. Why is that?
- Suzie has missed four of the five deadlines I have set for her. Where are my fingerprints in this situation?
- When I think of my senior leadership team, who challenges me the most? What is it about their approach that triggers me?
Self-leadership begins with the acknowledgement that “What got you here won’t get you there.” (Thank you, Marshall Goldsmith!). An individual’s skills are the starting point of a great leader, not the finish line.
The next evolution of leadership ascends into the interpersonal, the political, and the nuanced. Interpersonal challenges are never one-sided. Reactive tendencies and patterns from childhood will continue to exist until leaders are ready to unpack them and set free those unhelpful and learned behaviours. Left unaddressed, leaders continue to bring their 5-year-old baggage into the boardroom where they act out their 5-year-old personalities and habits. Without the awareness to notice their patterns, leaders will continue to behave in the same way without growth or experimentation. When you know better, you do better.
Curiosity is a powerful tool. It is available to you whether you are attending a Teams meeting online or sitting across from someone. Leaders who notice their own triggers can explore these unconscious feelings, bring them out in the open and decide for themselves if they are helpful to their future leadership.
Equality, respect and encouragement
Adlerian leadership moves away from hierarchical, top-down management to a more egalitarian approach, where everyone’s contributions are valued. Modern not-for-profit leaders have traditionally shied away from autocratic leadership styles, preferring servant leadership or participatory leadership.
In the post-pandemic era—where real challenges exist to building community and cohesive teams at work—leaders must take the time to see, hear, and understand staff members. Dignity and respect, alongside kindness and firmness, will both inspire and hold teams accountable. Consider this way of thinking:
- What is this staff member seeking when he brings his agenda to our one-on-one meetings?
- How can I ensure that all voices are heard and valued in group meetings?
Another example finds a senior leader spending a lot of time talking with younger staff about aspects of their job. At the surface, it may sound like conversations about the tasks at hand, and how the organization runs. But under the surface, at the level of connection and meaningfulness, the younger staff member is asking, “Do you see me? Are you the kind of person whom I can trust and work hard for?” Rather than the senior leader seeing these conversations as a waste of time, and eroding productivity, he or she can reframe these discussions as an investment in each other’s relationship bank, setting up the younger staff for future successes.
Creating the climate of mutual respect—rather than authority or dominance—strengthens both individual growth and the collective good.
The ripple effect
Like the impact of a motorboat on the shoreline, the ripple effect caused by a leader’s “wake” is felt by everyone in the room. Leaders must take responsibility for this by making space for other voices. A culture where dialogue and discussion is encouraged ensures that the best solution is uncovered. A leader asks open-ended questions like these, listening for meaning underneath words, and considering what other factors might be at play:
- Great point. What other options might we have not yet considered?
- I want to be sure to hear everyone’s thoughts on this before we make a decision.
- Are we in a place where we can move forward?
Within the parameters of the Adler framework, humans at work are just, well, humans! They act out their preconditioned social networks that they have been learning since birth. And they will continue to follow these behaviours until a curious leader interrupts and asks them about it. The courage to ask about the person, and not just the task, is the role of the modern leader.
Mentorship
Adler’s research lens focused on social interest, equality and encouragement. Mistakes are reframed as learning opportunities, and encouragement is more effective than criticism for developing others.
Taking a “coach” approach to leadership involves noticing themes, patterns and habits:
- I notice that when we come into our bi-weekly meetings, you have a long list of items, and we rarely get through all of them. How does that affect your ability to feel that you can accomplish everything you set out to do? Does this happen in any of your other meetings?
- May I offer an observation? You are quiet in team meetings. I’d love to hear more of your thoughts, and I am certain the team would benefit from your insights, too.
Bringing back social aspects to the workplace
By acknowledging our socialness as humans, we can move past the “Zoom link happy hour team events” and start reconnecting as humans. The greatest human need is to feel seen, heard and valued. This looks different for everyone: an acknowledgement of the death of a favourite pet, a generous word on a job well done, a curious question to see if feedback is welcome after a key presentation. For Adler, change comes from encouraging personal growth and contribution to society. Taking the time for fact-to-fact moments inside the cadence of online meetings is important. Zoom meetings have make work all business and no play. In-person team events and taking the time to connect at the office are essential components of a socially aware leader’s toolkit.
Growth is not just an opportunity for a leader. It is an imperative. Whether this learning comes from books, or from coaching, or leadership training, adding to the toolkit of leadership is fundamental. Hybrid workspaces, global uncertainty and generalized loneliness mean that workers are feeling deeply disconnected from each other, and their leaders.
Being part of the development of others starts with developing yourself first. Staying curious and constantly considering “what else?” helps leaders to creatively seek out potential, rather than bowing to the tendency to be reactive.
In today’s times of fast-paced change and disruption, embracing and fostering true connections between humans in the workplace is not just important, for leaders, it is imperative.
Five Adlerian actions for transformative philanthropic leadership
- See the person in front of you
- Be internally curious
- Notice your “wake” in meetings and interactions
- Offer coaching observations to others without judgment
- Slow down now so that you can move faster later
To learn more about Alfred Adler and his work, read his book Understanding Human Nature published in 1927.
Jenny Mitchell is an executive coach, author, and professional fundraiser who is on a mission to help people master meaningful conversations. As founder of Chavender, Jenny has worked with hundreds of organizations across North America, empowering leaders to inspire their teams and donors for lasting impact. A sought-after keynote speaker and author of the leadership book Embracing Ambition, she brings her creativity, insight, and passion for excellence to the not-for-profit world. chavender.com.
Related Posts
